Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Everywhere Everything Everyone

August 24, 2017 , , , ,

shutterstock_274626524“No one can be everywhere and everything to everyone.”
-Grace Bonney

I confess: I get caught up in trying to be so helpful and “balanced” so that I never let anyone down. What I’ve learned is that it’s impossible to be everywhere and do everything for everyone all the time. Period.

Sometimes I wake up feeling overwhelmed. Like, open my eyes, take a deep breath and it feels like there’s a weight on my chest first thing in the morning. I jump on the proverbial treadmill and off I go to be mom, wife, marketer, leader, friend and helper with my super cape waving behind me. By the end of the day, it can feel like I got all tripped up and the cape has wrapped itself around me so tight I can’t breathe. I feel defeated. I feel like I just couldn’t do enough. I feel like a failure.

I’ve come to believe that work/life/balance is more like a seesaw than a set of perfectly balanced scales. Some days you accomplish everything on your list, including turning Kool-Aid into wine, and other days you just get by without drowning yourself or your kids. It’s real life. It’s ok.

As women, we put a huge amount of pressure on ourselves to be a super woman all the time. It’s unrealistic. It’s unnecessary. There will be soccer games missed or volunteer shifts you couldn’t sign up for or meetings where you phoned it in and that’s ok. The really important things get done. Sometimes, you hand sew that award-winning Halloween costume and sometimes you cut holes in a sheet and call it a day.

One thing I’ve learned is how you start your day has a monumental impact on the rest of your day. Instead of rolling over and grabbing my phone i.e. start reacting to whatever has popped up overnight, I take a deep breath and say thank you. Starting the day with gratitude is life-changing. And, when I have some “bathroom time,” again, instead of pouring over my phone, I read something inspirational to jumpstart the day, setting it off on a positive trajectory.

If you haven’t read it yet, there’s a gorgeous book that I love by Grace Bonney. In the Company of Women is inspiration and advice from over 100 Makers, Artists, and Entrepreneurs. You can also watch Grace here on (aka: Marie TV). Her honesty and style are refreshing. Earlier this year, a surprising health diagnosis stopped her in her tracks and she realized she couldn’t be everywhere and do everything for everyone all the time. Scary and immobilizing!

The beautiful and inspiring part is how she overcame it and kept moving forward. The best part of ourselves is not our beauty or our body or our clean house. It’s our essence. It’s that part of you that’s deep inside and, since birth, has matured (for most) and transformed you into the wonderful human you are today. It’s the reason people are drawn to you. The reason you’re loved. It’s why you’re so groovy.

Have you aced the whole everywhere for everything for everyone or are you normal and challenged like the rest of us? If you’ve achieved balance, how did you do it? Let me know in the comments below. Have a friend who is struggling and could use a brick to the head and get in touch with their essence? Consider sharing this with them, as a reminder that they have permission to slow down, take a breath and stop the madness. Look inward and realize they’re enough—as is, without all the doing!

I find myself in the company of amazing women, like you, and for that, I am most grateful!

Stay sane, my friends.

allison deford



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