Confessions of a Professional Mom
Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.
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You can scroll the shelf using ← and → keys
Worth losing sleep over
A daily test of wills, creativity and patience
Often thankless — always worth it
Teaches self-sacrifice
Randon moments of insanity, bliss and gratitude
A juggling act
Simultaneously draining and fulfilling
MacGuyvering a costume out of dental floss, toilet paper and scotch tape
The chance to see with new eyes
Finding out what you’re made of
Getting really good at counting to 10
Saying fuck under your breath in seven languages
Learning that what is yours is now theirs
Sacrificing
Playing the role of Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Santa
Character building
Finding out just how far a dollar can really stretch
Second chance at getting an A on all those school projects
Finally understanding the phrase “This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you”
Realizing your own mother is a damn saint
Regretting all those times you gave your mom a hard time
Confirmation that your mother is laughing her ass off somewhere, repeatedly stabbing a voodoo doll of you
Having to say I’m sorry, I screwed up
A miraculous feat
Cause for daily celebration
Takes multi-tasking to an entirely new level
Understanding that sixth sense they talk about
Refining the art of fake listening
Reversing your childhood proclamation to never spank your kids
Finding great joy in moments of silence
Never being bored again for the rest of your life
Over-utilizing the 5-second rule
Becoming the world’s greatest athletic supporter
Appreciating pooping solo
Undoubtedly, the most important title you’ll ever have
Monumentally rewarding
Trusting your instincts
Creating a 3-course meal out of corn flakes, half and half and an over ripe banana
Developing a thicker skin
Mastering the art of involuntary head turning every time you hear the word “Mom!”
The most underrated profession
Trusting your Spidy senses
Loving someone else so much it hurts
Happy Mother’s Day
Brilliant post! One of those rare and precious times when you find yourself thinking ‘yep, that’s exactly right’ over and over again. So nice to be reminded that we’re not alone in the madness of motherhood. Bonus: you managed to put it all in a humorous way. Well done!