Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Does Size Really Matter?

November 4, 2016 , , , , , , ,


Watching the Country Music Awards is an annual ritual we’ve come to enjoy at the Confessions house — especially betting against 9 Going on 19, whose name will be called when the envelope is opened or who has the biggest penis (just kidding).

After a long day of thinkery and clients and traffic and cooking (or cleaning up), it feels like a small reward to slow down, sink back into the couch with a glass of wine (I know, you’re shocked) and take in all the humor, fashion, performances, acceptance speeches, commemorations of performers past and sizes of country music. BRICK TO THE HEAD

Yes, I said SIZES! It dawned on me that while I was bantering with my kid, laughing at Brad and Carrie and moving to the music of some of my favorite performers, my inner mean girl was on over-drive and judging her ass off. This was the tape rolling in my head:

“Wow, Garth and Trisha have put on some weight; looks like they fell off the diet wagon!”

“Damn, Tim and Faith need to eat a sandwich…somebody has taken fitness a little too far!”

“I think Miranda is heavier…must be from the stress of the divorce. Does she have a tiny double chin?”

“Man, the girls of Little Big Town look fantastic! Weren’t they a little heavier before?”

“Brad’s wife Kim looks a little better than when she was on “Two and a Half Men”; she was a scarecrow with boobs on that show!”

“Brooks and Dunn look good; Ronnie is so skinny! I wonder if it’s his body type or he works at it really hard?!”

Seriously, my inner mean girl is pathetic! Who thinks about stupid stuff like this?! Does size even matter? Obviously, I have body issues of my own. Is that where these thoughts come from — this obsession with size? Does it matter if Miranda Lambert is a size 4 or a size 12? No! She has the most beautiful voice and that is why I love her. So, why do I feel compelled to think about or comment on how big or small she is?

Is this something we all do or am I alone on an island here and going straight to hell in a hand basket?

I teach my daughters to see people for their essence, their heart and their mind — not their skin color or religion or bad fashion choices. (heh heh) So, clearly, I need to practice what I’m preaching.

I believe that society and the media have a huge hand in influencing us when it comes to our beliefs about body image and what’s acceptable and desirable. It starts when we’re little…playing with perfect “unrealistically proportioned” Barbie and perfect “weird plastic penis” Ken put us right on the train to Dysmorphia City. Would it make a difference if kids played with Mike and Molly dolls instead? Maybe. But, shutting out all the other news, magazines, movies and references to the Kardashians is nearly impossible.

Is size an indicator of something important?

If someone is heavy does it mean they are lazy or dumb or indulgent or any other negative thing? When someone is thin are they necessarily active and healthy, smart and conscientious? Pretty sure the answer to both is a resounding NO!


I’m well aware that this obsession with size is not a new question or issue. Major brands have taken a stab at dismantling our dysfunctional belief system, like the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. And yet there will always be those who see the “glass is half empty”: “the campaign has been called a lot of things, from a “game changer” and “a breath of fresh air”, to “hypocritical”, “sexist”, and “sneaky”. Baby steps!

You know what they say after you’ve had a baby…it took you nine months to put on the weight, so give yourself time to take it off. This size issue feels the same. It’s taken a hundred years (I’m narrowing it down here) to create our current belief system around size and I really hope it doesn’t take that long for us to change our mindset and become more realistic and less judgemental.

I’m committing to practicing what I preach and seeing people for who they are on the inside (myself included). Inner Mean Girl…you’ve been warned! STFU

Are you light years ahead of me or do you ever struggle with judging yourself or others based on size? Does size really matter?

Stay sane, my friends.



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