Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Raising Daughters

October 27, 2016 , , , , ,

raising-daughtersAs a parent, you get to choose how you’ll raise your kids. After all, you made them. And, when you’re all hot and bothered and gettin’ busy making them, no one pulls you aside and reminds you that you are about to become a human easy bake oven, milk machine, sleep-deprived caregiver, professional laundress, chief cook and bottle washer, semi-professional photographer, taxi-driver, bow-maker, athletic supporter, therapist, investigator, referee, disciplinarian, hygiene Nazi, nurse practitioner, professional wine lover and, ultimately a crazed fan who would fight to the death to protect your little creation like a mobster protecting his money.

My personal experience is heavily colored by the fact that I am someones daughter and by my current title of Mother of Two Daughters. And, with all those titles and responsibilities and rabbits that I’ve pulled from a hat I believe the most important job we may ever have, raising daughters, is that of role model. (yes, scares me too)

In this day and age society and the media definitely impact their views and feelings about being a girl. But, ultimately, who do they spend the most time with? Us — their parental units. The ones who gave them life. They watch and absorb how we speak, how we dress, what we believe in, how we treat others, how we handle conflict and celebration, what we read, if we read, how we love or loathe ourselves, how we embrace or eschew our sexuality, how we interact with the opposite sex, how we handle money, our work ethic or lack of, how we treat people who are different than us and, bottom line, what it means to be a human being on this planet.

I know, it’s a huge responsibility! (I have started a therapy fund for each daughter)

Raising daughters, what I do know is this – they are extraordinary, intelligent, strong, powerful, capable human beings who can accomplish anything they choose to do or create or become. I hope that if they learn anything from watching me and the other amazing women in their lives it’s this:

…playing with Barbies and trucks is cool.

…”hitting like a girl” is a compliment!

…the choice to do decide what to do with your own body is your right and it’s worth fighting for.

…you can be anything you choose — no limits!

…you are worthy of love and respect and equal opportunity.

…you have a voice, use it!

…happiness is inside you — no boyfriend or mate or job or amount of money will replace that.

…you are beautiful inside and out, just the way you are, today.

…you are your own worst critic.

…you can be brave for five minutes longer. (thanks V)

…forgive yourself and move the fuck on.

…being tall is not weird!

…you can be good at math and art and sports — nerd, dreamer, jock…lose the labels.

…respect everyone, even if you don’t agree with them.

…never be afraid to speak up!

…being a strong, decisive, powerful woman who speaks her mind does not translate into bitch, cunt or feminazi

…always use your manners, they never get old.

…take care of your body, your mind and your heart — they are the only ones you’ll ever have.

…it is not necessary to alter your body; wrinkles and natural breasts are beautiful!

…embrace being female; it’s who you are.

…just love the shit out of yourself, because you deserve it!


Raising daughters? What would you add?

Stay sane my friends.

Allison DeFord


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