Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Introverted Extravert?

September 27, 2016 , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Twins Holding HandsWhile heading up the escalator at the Hollywood Bowl, my Super Friend turned to me and asked a peculiar question. “Do you think you’re an introvert or an extravert?” I laughed and replied, “Well, extravert!” (like, duh) She paused and smiled and, as if peering deep into my soul, said, “You sure about that?” Apparently, she’d just finished reading a book on the subject and discovered she was an introvert. Shocked, I replied, “You, an introvert?” Just when you think you know someone…or yourself, for that matter.

She asked me, “Are you stimulated by social interaction or solitude?” My eyes grew wide and we mouthed the answer together, “SOLITUDE!” Do you prefer to be with people or alone? “ALONE doesn’t suck!” Wait a minute! Am I? Could it be?

Is it possible to traverse the ‘personality lines’ from one state to the other or can you exist in both states at the same time ie: introverted extravert?! For some reason, further investigation felt absolutely necessary.

Introvert from Birth
Growing up I always thought of myself as an introvert—a little shy, not the first one to volunteer for anything, perfectly happy to sit at home and read while my polar opposite sister ran the neighborhood like a confident little mafia ring-leader. I was this way until my twenties and something changed.

Twenty-something Extravert
Fast forward to twenty-something. I was constantly seeking something to do and someone to do it with. I was energized by having plans every weekend and people to hang out with—a true source of greater happiness and contentment, or so I thought. Making up for lost time? Who knows. I’m pretty sure I drove Mr. Confessions crazy, since he was known as the introvert in our relationship and, I, continuously packed our calendar to satiate my social needs.

Baby Mama
Fast forward to 32 and post baby number 1—my how things change. Walking the aisles of Target alone and in complete silence was now my bliss. Quiet, unneeded, peaceful. No stimulation necessary. (Except for the caffeinated kind…and wine)

And, then sports kicked in and don’t get me started on life as a softball mom. Weekends haven’t been our own for the last seven years. Then right under our noses entire summers got sucked into the travel softball vortex as well. A weekend without plans or softball has become equivalent to finding the holy grail!

Where do you fall on the spectrum—intro, extra or an eclectic combo of vertness?

My obsession with these labels stems from my beliefs. I always thought being an introvert was something to overcome. At least that’s the societal norm I grew up with. People commented on an introvert in an almost pathetic tone, “Well, she’s just an introvert; bless her heart.” And in movies, the poor introvert would stare off into the distance, silently carrying on a conversation in her own head…painfully shy and alone. Or, put the introvert into a controversial situation and pan over to introvert staring at the ground, seemingly speechless, as if her tongue had been cut out. This personality type was always associated with less than or lacking in some way.

Change Anything?
Having experienced periods of each state of “vert” and after deep reflection, I now feel quite confident to don either label with pride! And, for those of you who know me and my libra-ness, this will not surprise you that I cannot be just one or the other. And, after much reflecting I believe the only choice is to own and honor who you are, how you feel and nurture both sides of your person(ality). Be sure to be social, make plans, seek out adventure and have fun. On the flip side, it’s good to slow down, quiet your mind and replenish your reserves regularly. You can be an introverted extravert…and rock that shit!

What’s your state of vertness?

Stay sane, my friends.

Allison DeFord


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I do get energized by being with others, so I guess I’m extrovert through and through–though I do spend massive swaths of time by myself!

Liked by 1 person

Dina Honour

September 28, 2016

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