Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Would Your Life Be Better If Only

May 20, 2016 , , , , , ,

45 looks curiousYou know the things in life that don’t always work out for you—dream job, huge client, relationship, pregnancy, trip, health scare, parents outliving you. How much time did you spend asking, “what if?” Would your life be better if only…you had been awarded that perfect job or landed that big account, married that awesome guy or given birth to that sweet baby? Or, did those things happen for a reason—to bring you to this point, this life, these friends, this mate and these children, this person that you are today? Would your life be better if only…

During my meditation today, this was the focal point. How much time do we spend pondering on or laboring over the what if’s? How is that serving us? Does it change anything?

The answer is a big fat NO.

I’ve lived through many moments of disappointment. Had experiences that were certainly not what I’d hoped for or planned. I spent loads of time lamenting over the what if’s. Expended exorbitant amounts of energy asking why this or that happened. My parents divorced when I was thirteen, shortly after my dad sat me down to tell me he was gay, he died of AIDS when I was 20 and I lost my first baby at 31. None of these were planned or hoped for. So, why did they all happen?

What if my parents were still married? What if my dad was still alive? What if I had that first baby? I’d most certainly be living a different life. I wouldn’t have met my husband in high school and been married for almost three decades, moved to California, had 16 Going on 26 and my dad would be a married gay man living a lie on the verge of suicide. Better? I think not.

Now, at the age of 48, I can look back on every single life experience and know with my whole heart that everything happened for a reason. Every event, good or bad, brought me to this day. This life. This place in time. I am so grateful for every moment and the less time I spend asking what if the more energy I have to be present and grateful for the journey that brought me HERE. Today is creating the future.

Do you spend time asking what if? Is it helping or hurting you? Would your life be better if only…

Stay sane, my friends.

Allison

 

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