Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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When You’re Gone Will Anyone Remember

May 12, 2016 , , , , , , , , , ,

When you're gone, will they rememberRecently, while Mr. Confessions was away for the weekend, I thought about what to-do’s are important to him that I could care less about and vice versa. Like making the bed, for example. It really bothers him to climb into an unmade bed at night. Granted, it’s nice when it’s made, but for me not absolutely necessary. Needless to say, while he was gone, I never made the bed once.

I started thinking about this idea of daily to-do’s and life experiences and the subjective level of importance we place on them. What activities, actions or rituals define you? Is the level of importance you place on them actually a learned response, instilled by your parents, or are your preferences ultimately just a part of your DNA? “It’s just who you are, what you like, what makes you feel comfortable.” Where does this shit come from and should I start a therapy fund for my kids now?!

I can say without a doubt that many of my quirks preferences can be traced back to my parents. My aversion to dusting, compulsion to maintain good hygiene, need to have a nice lawn and relaxed position on having more than one junk drawer are straight up Becky and Phil. I liken the emotional fulfillment I get from each to internal approval. But, where do the other preferences, tendencies and pressures come from? Lessons from life or self imposed? And, what is it that you ultimately want to be remembered for? What you did or how you made people feel?

Maybe you can relax a bit and give yourself a break because when you’re gone, will anyone remember:

…how messy your purse was
…how often you made your bed
…how much money you made
…how many times a week you worked out
…how much you weighed
…how short or tall you were
…whether or not you were a good dancer
…whether or not you filled the dishwasher efficiently
…that you forgot to send a thank you note for that one gift
…that you weren’t a perfect mother, wife, sister or daughter
…whether or not your sock drawer was organized
…how fast you could run a mile
…how many times you let your kids eat cereal for dinner
…how many times you let your kids eat dessert instead of dinner
…how many times you lost your cool with your kids
…how many times you were late
…that you didn’t always remember to say please and thank you
…that occasionally, you only pretended to hear what your kids were saying at the end of a long day
…that you secretly detested the Easy Bake Oven cakes
…that time you went to a meeting with baby poop under your fingernails
…that you had more than one junk drawer
…that you stole those sunglasses when you were 12 (oops!)
…that you didn’t always remember to wash off your make up before bed
…that you beat yourself up inside every time you let someone down
…that you questioned your existence more than once
…that you felt like giving up a thousand times
…that you didn’t really want to be a stay-at-home mom
…your house was a mess that time friends dropped by
…you had to ask for help, more than once
…you felt like an idiot when you had to learn that lesson the hard way
…you wore an outfit straight out of the hamper (except for the underwear)
…that your super cape felt so heavy at times you felt completely immobile
…that you knew the hokey pokey wasn’t what it’s all about

I believe that once you’re gone, people will remember all the good stuff. The important stuff!

Relax. Lighten up. Try not to get hung up on the small stuff. Remember, people will ultimately remember how you made them feel. xo

Stay sane, my friends.

Allison

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