Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Professional Mom Battling Appointment Phobia

April 28, 2016 , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Too Many AppointmentsHave you ever stopped to think about how many appointments we have to make and keep in our lifetimes. Mind you, add kids into the mix and you practically have to become a human day planner just to keep up. Do appointments stress you out, like they do me?

Yesterday, for example, I’d been riding a zen high all week. Fantastic projects happening at work, family is healthy and happy, meditating every day (finally mastered longer than 60 seconds), writing in my journal, exercising, blah blah blah. Doing the work and being present and firing on all cylinders until this happened…

Leave work early (no problem), make two stops to pick up each daughter (no problem), maneuver through traffic like an indy car drive (no problem), make it to our dentist appointments nearly on-time (no problem) and then this, as we’re checking out afterwards—

“You need to schedule another appointment to come back and have us build up your crown due to receding gums (fuck you very much menopause) AND make an appointment to come back in four months for your cleaning instead of six AND you’ll need to make an appointment with this orthodontist for 16 Going on 30 to get a second opinion on her braces AND you need to also schedule an appointment for 8 Going on 18 to have an ortho eval. Thank you very much, we’ll see you soon! And can you remind your husband to schedule his appointment for next month?!”

If someone could peer inside my head at that moment it was as if someone let loose a whirling dervish. My heart started pounding rapidly, followed by a hot flash coupled with wide eyes and a small panic attack at the thought of orchestrating all of these appointments with work and school and sports and OMG someone just shoot me now. In sixty seconds I went from shinola to shit and landed in appointment hell! Granted, I started having random awful cramps on the way to this appointment and felt a bit spiral-y. HORMONES strike again!

I don’t remember feeling this way about appointments prior to having kids, but looking back, maybe they’ve always overwhelmed me. We all know I suffer from Phone Phobia, but Appointment Phobia?! Lord, I’m all jacked up.

Of course, like a good mom, I scheduled the appointments into my calendar on my phone and walked away with the referral slips in hand to call and schedule the ortho consults. Mind you, I’m not a single mom. I understand I’m not doing all this alone. Mr. Confessions is fantastic about juggling all this with me. I think I put too much on my own shoulders and create my own hell.

For whatever reason, to me, appointments feel like a time suck. It’s like they fill in all the blanks in between work ending and evening family time beginning. I don’t know about you, but I really need that tiny window in between. It’s like a little pocket of silence, of reflection, of ME time. Someone in a third world country is going to read this and say, “Oh, you poor poor middle class white woman living in the greatest country on the planet with the most resources and excellent healthcare and dentistry…I feel so sorry for you and your Appointment Phobia!” 

Ok, so she would be right. It’s pathetic, I know. Why is it so easy to go from high on life to dredging through shit (in my own mind)? That’s really what it boils down to—I’m creating the feelings and the phobia in my own head. It’s not even real. A little quiet time and a lot little wine later and I was nearly fine. Still crampy, but kept my mind clear of the voices of doom. Are hormones the culprit? Not certain.

They say awareness is the first step. Must look into AA program (Appointments Anonymous)!

Do you suffer from Appointment Phobia? Know someone else who does? Please tell me it’s not just me. #pursewine

Stay sane, my friends.



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When the Kids Go To Bed

April 29, 2016

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