Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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February 8, 2016 , , , , , , , , ,


Twenty years ago, this post would have been about some HOT night out on the town or a HOT outfit I found or a HOT sweaty awesome new workout. You know, HOT, being sexy. Fast forward to today and HOT has a whole new meaning.

Yesterday was the day from hell. Literally! There was an in-bound HOT flash every ten minutes, the entire day. It’s still happening this morning, which is why I felt compelled to share. If you haven’t experienced this wicked evil known as menopause, consider yourself blessed! For those who are already neck-deep in this shit, you’re feelin’ me.

Honestly, it feels like a curse. The HOT is only part of the package. It can also be accompanied by dry skin and dry everything, insomnia, immune issues, bloating, depression and I can go on. You’re thinking, “Oh Lord, make her stop!” In case you ever need to confirm that you are in the swells of hell, here is a link to the endless list of symptoms. It’s a little alarming! HOT HOT HOT makes you feel CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY—anxious, short of breath, frantic and unfocused.

cooling_fanThere are days when I feel crazy. One day is UP UP UP–riding high on the wings of love and gratitude and the next day I don’t want to come out from under the covers. I believe they call this hiding. Yes, that’s exactly what I feel like doing. If I hide, the spiral will stop. I’ll remove myself from any action or interactions or failures. Sadly, this never actually works for me. Short term solution that produces zero results. (Always seems good at the time)

I realize that hitting snooze fifteen times instead of getting up the first time the alarm goes off isn’t really helping me. Forgoing exercise in the morning because I was hiding under the covers never gets me feeling any better either. Danielle LaPorte talks about this idea of how you want to feel instead of what you want to do. Knowing how you want to feel will help you figure out what you need to do in order to achieve that. The other thing I learned from the master, Steve Chandler, is if you want something different, you have to do something different. He says whenever you feel stuck, take an action. Any action. Take a walk. Take a shower. Take a drive. Write down your feelings. Just move. That’s the ticket. I think the greatest benefit of this is it clears the clutter out of your head (which is really the culprit of all this to begin with). Turns off those voices that are constantly re-winding tape and negative Nelly, who fuels the anxiety fire. Shuts her ass down and fast!

Since there is no known cure for this new HOT, I have two choices: I can try and hide from it and its posse of bandits or I can lean into it and take action. I can choose to believe that I’m this new HOT for a reason. Redefine what HOT is and means. Take care of my body and eat good, get enough zzzz’s and get a therapist! Whatever it takes to feel good. I can choose happy, even if I’m sweating my ass off.

Are you in the throws of menopause or just a youngin’ thinking it will never happen to you. (So sweet and naive) I’d love to hear from you in either case. What’s your experience like? Is there some cure I haven’t discovered yet? Advice welcome.

Stay sane, my friends.


Next hot flash…5 minutes


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Haven’t quite hit the hot flashes, yet, but am definitely with you on all the ups and downs (and crappy skin). I feel like a teenager again…in the worst possible way. I like the idea of taking action and figuring out how you want to feel. Great post!

Liked by 1 person


February 9, 2016

Thank you, Jean!


Allison DeFord

February 9, 2016

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