Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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As the Personalities Turn

November 17, 2015 , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

As the Personalities TurnMost likely everyone has seen the movie Inside Out by now—except for me.

It ended up on the bottomless list of movies to see when I have time (i.e.: no softball, school functions, practice, lessons, dry cleaning, grocery shopping, etal…meaning “all that other shit that seems to get in the way”). So the other night the fam and I rented it and through all the laughter and a few tears it felt like I was looking into my own head and that of my kids and husband—all at the same time. LIGHTBULB!

Holy shit! It turns out I’m not completely crazy. (stop shaking your head) I was starting to feel like juggling all the personalities inside my own melon every day, compounded with that of three more humans, was more than I could handle. I thought, “get a grip woman, it’s just a family of four.” Think of those crazy women who have six kids (no offense, Aunt Barb) and they seem to manage. What’s wrong with me? Why, some days, do I feel completely exhausted and emotionally drained—like a cheap therapist who see’s a hundred patients a day:

“Please form a single file line.
Number 27…calling number 27. Please step into my office.
You have five minutes to spill. I will then solve all your problems. GO!
…no need to pay—I work for free.”

Watching the movie brought clarity to the fact that I’m actually dealing with thirty-two different people (personalities) every day, all before I leave the comfort of my own home. And to boot, each one of us is in a different stage of life.

If we were a TV show we’d be called As the Personalities Turn…

Our handsome leading man is the typical Father Knows Best type (add some bulging biceps and a love of heavy metal) who is wise and sensible and keeps our ship on course. He works hard, loves deeply and secretly dreams of running away to find fame in a rock band or as a professional MMA fighter.

His leading lady is on the verge of an affair with Peri—Peri Menopause—a dastardly villain who fucks with her mind, her body and her sanity. In the next season he’ll tire of her and she’ll be drawn in to a relationship with his father, Menopause Sr. A sad twisted plot unfolds.

Our blossoming young flower is 15 Going on 30. While attending Hormone High she gets caught up in typical teenage drama yet still manages to rise above it and make good choices. In season 16 she’ll most likely invent a cure for cancer and pay off her parents home and send them on trips around the world.

The youngest member of the cast is 8 Going on 18—your typical strong-willed lovable 8-year old who (like a ninja) sneaks off to her underground lair where she doubles as a secret agent, fighting crime and bringing justice to kids everywhere; while simultaneously writing her 6th self help best seller, I’m Living with a Crazy Woman (in bookstores this Christmas).

While watching the movie I decided without a doubt, I am Joy. The lovable lead character, played by my hero, Amy Poehler. She always strives to remain happy and positive despite being influenced by all the other emotions. She ultimately realizes the importance of Sadness, who proves a critical contributor in the emotional development of the movies main character, Riley. Yes, I definitely choose Joy because she is the ring-leader who keeps all the emotions balanced and working together like an 8th grade symphony. It hurts your ears a little, and yet you appreciate the effort and see the beauty in what they’re trying to do.

Which character did you most identify with? How many personalities do you juggle every day? How do you hold it together? Please advise in the comments below. Then, send my your bill. I know you don’t work for free.

Stay sane, my friends.



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We watched it this past weekend too. It explained so much, even for my kids. One of them starting commenting on how his brother lets angry guy at the control table too much!


When the Kids Go To Bed

November 17, 2015

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