Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Jealous Much?!

July 20, 2015 , , , , , ,

Beach Mom“I mean no disrespect
​It’s my right to be hellish
​I still get jealous…”
-Nick Jonas

The words of the great Nick Jonas (gagging sound here) were stuck in my head recently, when I popped into Crackbucks for my morning fix. This was after a hectic morning arguing with a 7 year old, attempting to form a thought in preparation for a big meeting with a 15-year old chirping in my ear about her boyfriend and something about dinner next Saturday. I’m waiting for my Venti Iced Cold Brew when a super cute mom in her super cute beach attire cruises into the store with children and their friends in tow. They are obviously heading down to the beach; it’s summer. No work for her. I assume she’s a stay-at-home mom and I instantly felt a little pang of jealousy. Ding! Ding! Dinggggggggggg! Truth bomb!

Thoughts (Judgements) running through my head:

-Wow, she looks fantastic! Probably has a personal trainer and works out like 3 hours a day, right after she drops the kids at school…and then she has the WHOLE DAY to herself.

-They probably go to the beach every day all summer long.

-I wonder if her kids appreciate her taking them to the beach so much.

-Bet my kids would stop giving me grief about working if I could take them to the beach every day all summer.

-She looks so carefree; great skins too, probably has time for facials every month.

-She’s so lucky!

I do know that all of these things could very well be the farthest thing from the truth! I’m just being honest here. Those were my immediate thoughts.

I don’t know why I felt jealous. I love having my own business and I love what I do for a living. I enjoy the challenges and successes of my clients. I also like the income that goes along with it. I feel like I’m contributing on a level financial playing field. I’ve chosen this life. Why on earth would I be jealous of someone else’s life?!

Maybe it’s the illusion that her life is so much easier than mine. That she somehow has less stress because she has time to stand around a chat in the school parking lot after drop off. She appears to have the time to workout and shop and lunch with girlfriends. She has extra time to be PTA president and help with all field trips and classroom parties. It feels like she has more time than me.

Would your kids feel more loved if…

This begs the question, “If I was a stay-at-home mom and was able to spend afternoons and summers with the kids, would they feel more loved?” My gut tells me no. Proven by the fact that I have attended many a field trip and helped with some class parties and inevitably one of my kids will say, “You’re ALWAYS working. You NEVER come on any field trips or help at school.”  ALWAYS and NEVER should be stricken from our vocabulary. It’s like I can’t win for losing. I am also positive that my kids know how much they are loved! Even though I’ve always worked. I also know many kids whose parents worked and they spent their afternoons and summers at daycare or day camp and they turned out just fine. No love loss. A little part of me just wonders sometimes…

I know every life comes with it’s particulars—with it’s own set of challenges and successes.  I realize one life isn’t necessarily easier or better than the other. Some days it just feels harder than others. That’s all! Apparently, this is the harder, pity-party kind of day. Poor poor me and my first world problems. Wahhhh!

Stay sane my friends.

Weigh in down below in the comments. Love to know what you think. Do you get jealous much?!



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When my guys were younger and I wasn’t working, I used to think “In my next life I’m going to be Allison!” Some days the grass just looks greener. Balance is the key to sanity, it’s written on my mirror in deep red lipstick to remind myself. All of our kids are going to turn out just fine, whether we are there for everything or a few things in between. xoxoxo



July 21, 2015

Now, that’s funny! Thank you for sharing that! Balance is definitely key. You’re right…they’ll be just fine, no matter what.


Allison DeFord

July 21, 2015

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