Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Today is all about YOU!

July 3, 2015 , , , , , , , , ,

It's All About YOU!Your calendar is packed. Schedule is full. Zero room to squeeze in a moment, much less an entire day for yourself. What an insane idea! Crazy, party of one!

I got all crazy recently and spent the entire day at one of my favorite spa’s. And during my massage, the therapist said something that made me giggle and actually feel a little uncomfortable. No, he didn’t offer me a happy ending. Very earnestly he said, “You let me know what you want because today is all about YOU!” All about me…odd, but saying it out loud felt strange and somehow too indulgent to be rolling off my lips. It was like the time I tried buttermilk for the first time. (weird tongue clicking against the roof of my mouth sound here)

After all, I’m a mom, a wife, a business owner, a butcher and baker and candlestick maker (so, maybe everything but the candlestick thing) and there is never an entire day that’s all about me. That would be selfish–right?!

If I actually schedule a day that’s all about me, it must also include a healthy serving of guilt. I will be letting someone down who needs something. My business will fall apart. My phone will ring off the hook. I’ll miss an important text. The world could end.

Not likely! So, here’s the deal. Why NOT create a day that is all about YOU? Because it isn’t really selfish. It isn’t lazy. It’s necessary! It’s not just good for you, it will have a positive impact on your family and your co-workers as well. And as soon as that guilt reel starts looping in your mind, consider doing this little exercise that will solidify why that loop is nothing more than a ridiculous story you’re telling yourself. Trust me, it’s not real.

I learned this exercise from Byron Katie and it’s part of her Byron Katie, The Work I’ve renamed this exercise “The Story Stopper.” Ask yourself the following four questions in an effort to dispel the myths surrounding you taking a day just for you…

“Taking an entire day for myself is selfish and everything will fall apart.”

  1. Is it true? (Yes or no. If no, move to 3.)
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Yes or no.)
  3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?

Good stuff, right?! Typically, the answers reveal that my crazy thoughts are not absolutely true. They’re a story I’m telling myself. Successfully supporting my own arguments like a slick attorney trying a mad man. Verdict–GUILTY without supporting evidence. Ridiculous!

So, when was the last time you created an entire day just for YOU? Guilt-free, no less. I know, it had been awhile for me too. I encourage you to put it on the calendar. Plan it. Alert the media. You will be having a bliss day and unavailable between 8a and 7p. Now, consider the story you’re already telling yourself about how this would be impossible. Could never happen…ask yourself the four questions and write down your answers.

Uh huh!

Have fun on your bliss day. I can’t wait to hear where you go, what you do and how amazing you feel.

Stay sane, my friends.

Allison DeFord

 

 

P.S. Maybe there’s a different story you’ve been telling yourself that, until today, seemed absolutely true. Feel free to share this post or these questions with someone else you know who could use a bliss day…or just a “story-stopper.”

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