Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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The Teenage Tone

June 16, 2015 , , , , ,

The Teenage ToneYou know how dogs can hear those high pitched tones that no human can hear? Sounds between 67-45,000 Hz to be exact, while humans can only detect sounds between 64-23,000. In this case, however, humans does not include teenagers. They are at a disadvantage when it comes to certain sounds. They simply cannot hear them. Now, we adults, we’re different. We’re more like our furry friends. Although we aren’t able to hear those same tones as dogs, there is a sound that is only perceptible to the human adult ear and alludes teenagers altogether. This sound I speak of is known as the “teenage tone”.

They say that in the upper frequencies of a dog’s hearing range, those high-pitched sounds can cause a dog irritation and discomfort. Funny, the same thing happens in adults when they hear the “teenage tone”. I liken it to nails on a chalkboard or your two-year old screaming in your ear. It’s annoying. It’s alarming. It hurts.

I’m not exaggerating when I say they truly cannot hear it. No matter how many times we gently point it out or call them on it or scream at the top of our lungs about it, they still cannot hear it. Have no idea what we’re talking about. Think we’re dramatic, overreacting and crazy. Look at us like we’re so irritating they’d rather blow us up with their mind powers if they could.

And, it’s not enough that it’s a hideous sound. There’s body language that goes along with it. Eye rolls, head turns, shoulder slumping, hand gestures, door slams, smirks, guffaws, tongue clicking and hand waving. I guess if we parents weren’t so lame…how dare we wake them up early enough to get ready instead of letting them sleep. And how dare we kill ourselves to get them to school on time or spend our entire weekends at some sports field in some po-dunk town in the middle of Central nowhere. Or stay up late to make sure their clothes are washed and folded for the next day. And how we forego or own plans to take them where they need to be or want to go?! Hideous! Simply hideous.

Now, once upon a time, I had the tone. I was actually the “tone queen” for a COUPLE OF YEARS. I swear I don’t know how my sweet mother ever lived through it. How she didn’t lay me out every time I slung the “tone” her way. (which was daily) Mind you, at the time, I was incapable of hearing it. “Tone, what tone?! There’s no tone!” I would utter. I thought she was nuts. I felt there was no tone. She was just overreacting and trying to bust my action. I vowed never to treat my kids like that!!! Hideous! Simply hideous!

Fast forward 35 years and here I am, being paid back. As the tone turns…

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…Paybacks are a bitch!
Share your tone experience in the comments below. Share this with a friend who can relate or one whose never experienced the tone and should share in your reality. Either way, stay sane my friends.

P.S. Patent ideas…
Wearables – Tone Muffs
6 ft. perimeter personal bubble – Tone Free Zone

Allison DeFord


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