Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Day 86-82: Wanna dance?

October 15, 2014 , , , , , , , ,

100 Days - Fuck FearDAY 87

Day 86-82 of the 100 day challenge…asking the impossible, every day, for the last 100 days of 2014! (see the original challenge link here:

Playing a little catch up on posting the the asks—I’ve realized that asking for what you really really want doesn’t always have to be a big huge thing. Sometimes asking for something small is just as important and rewarding as asking for your BHAG (big hairy audacious goal). I’ve also given myself permission—permission to ask things of, well, ME.

You may be thinking, “Why is she asking herself for stuff. That’s easy. She’s copping out!” I figured out that asking myself for what I really really want doesn’t come naturally. It’s a little challenging. It’s the “forgotten ask.” Like my creative partner always says, “The stuff on the outside isn’t going to change you or help you; go inside of yourself—start there.” (you are a wise woman, Lori) And, if that doesn’t work, she throws a brick at my head.

Here’s what I’ve asked for over the last five days:

Day 86: Wanna dance?
I am active on Linkedin. It’s a virtual playground for business. I used to be afraid to ask people with big titles to connect—CEO’s, authors and the like. I was afraid they’d laugh and say, “Whose this nobody who wants to connect with me?” So what! So what if they say no?! As my biz coach always says, “Yes lives in the land of no!” It’s a good land to be in, right?! Reminds me of a school dance where everyone is petrified to ask the popular girl to dance. Funny thing is she’s probably lonely because everyones afraid of her. Ironic! I just finished reading a fantastic book, Difference by Bernadette Jiwa. You could liken my affection for her writing and her work to that of a crack addict sitting in a giant vat of blow. So, I sent a very heartfelt in mail and asked her to connect. She said yes! Eeek! Now, the ball’s in my court…

Day 85: Why would I buy what you’re selling?
Instead of asking clients the same old questions during an intake conversation I started asking them the harder question, “Why would I buy what you’re selling and why should I buy it from you?” Forget the marketing speak and recounting of your features and benefits. Cut to the chase. How will what you’ve got make a difference for me (or your customers)? Long silence here…they were stumped.

Day 84: Wanna have sex?
It dawned on me that much of the time I wait—wait for Mr. Confessions to initiate sex. Why do I do that? Maybe I’m tired or thoughtless or just lazy. So, I got off my can and asked. You can imagine the response I got was, um, positive. Duh! Best part was, it was a reminder that everyone wants to be wanted. Sometimes you’re the wanted and sometimes you’re the wantee. Don’t wait to be asked. Do the asking.

Day 83: What do you really really really want?
I was engaged in a phone conversation with a very close friend whose struggling emotionally and I asked the hard question, “What do you really really really want?” She said she really really really didn’t know. I suggested she spend some time thinking about that, writing it down, imagining it was already happening. If you don’t know what you want, how will you know when it’s right in front of you?!

Day 82: Can we talk about money?
I asked a prospective client to slow down and talk about money before we send them the proposal. Important to know what their budget range is so that we know we’re the right fit. Like my business coach always says, “The proposal is simply the agreement you came to verbally, in writing.” It’s easy to rush to the proposal phase too soon. If they have a nickel to spend, I clearly have other fish to fry. Moving on…

So, with 81 days left in 2014, what is something you could do every day for the rest of the year that will get you what you really really really want?

Tick Tock,

allison deford


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