Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Welcome to “Pause Central”

October 1, 2013 , , , , , , , , , ,

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CAUTION: Parental guidance is suggested due to graphic content, including language and violent outbursts. Enjoy the show!

Welcome to “Pause Central”… a new reality show starring the women of the DeFord household: Allison-45, Drea-13 Going on 30, and Ivy-6 Going on 60.

The definition of menopause literally means the “end of monthly cycles”. In this house, there’s more cycles starting and stopping than the local laundromat on a busy weeekend.

Now, there’s more to “Pause” than scientists originally thought. and it shows up in many forms…. “Peri”, “Post”, “Teen”, “Tween”, and “ManOpause”.

The show explores a newer discovery among women of all ages called, “___________O_pausal rage.” This type of rage seems to pop up with no warning and feels totally out of place. This is not just getting upset or angry in response to the little bumps in the road day to day – these are very obvious outbursts that involve overreacting above and beyond your normal anger level, way out of proportion to the situation at hand. It is extreme, emotional and hurts others. And it often triggers regret. Meat cleavers and all sharp objects have been removed from the set to protect the camera crew.

It’s critically important to understand that these situations are very real for the thousands of modern women who experience them, especially the supermoms trying to “do it all” at work and at home! These types of emotional outbursts are usually more common in the PMS portion of a woman’s cycle – OR the two weeks before her period OR in the morning before breakfast OR on a Wednesday OR when the wind blows.

If you think this sounds like you or someone you love, please read on! You won’t want to miss this show!

Warning Signs You or Someone You Know Should be Committed to “Pause Central” 

1. Mood Swings Within Minutes

Are you fine one minute, and sad, overwhelmed or crying the next – does this sound familiar? Your moods are changing like the flip of a light switch with no warning. “You’re the best mom ever / I hope you die in a fire!”

2. Out-of-Proportion Anger           

Totally overreacting to even little things is part of this anger. These responses are over-the-top in regard to what is usually considered “small stuff.” Agitation and irritability surface in response to minor events, like lost shoes or poofy hair.

3. Depression

Thoughts of suicide or complete banishment under the covers due to boy trouble, mean girls, too much homework, not getting your way, a muffin top or, God forbid, never-ending laundry!

The craziness that ensues each week will have you falling off your chair laughing or hiding under a chair in fear. These are real scenes from the real OC. We can’t make this shit up! Pour yourself a glass of wine and get ready to feel better about yourself…

Stay sane, and tune in.

allison deford

(No character is severely overweight, has had plastic surgery, sports a long crazy beard or has “forklift toe”; sorry to disappoint.)

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LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like

Heidi

October 1, 2013

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