Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Poop—it’s what’s for Dinner!™

March 8, 2013 , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Poop–it's what's for dinner!™I’m pretty sure my sister is laughing her head off right now, simply from reading the title. See, when we were kids, mom typically made dinner and we’d pull up a chair and take a look and assess what was on our plates. I distinctly remember remarking (more than once I’m sad to admit), “Ew, this smells like poop.” To which my mother indignantly replied, “I do not serve poop to my family!” I’d think, “Calm down, already, I was just sayin’!”

Sadly, forty years later, the past has come back to bite me square in the ass. On a regular basis, my kids make similar comments about whatever it is I’m making for dinner. Now, I just go with it. When they look at it and then proceed to ask, “Ew, what are we having?” I say, “Poop!” Then I say, “Here’s your sign.” Seriously, do they not know what fish looks like? Or grilled veggies for that matter? It’s not like I make them eat liver or green eggs and ham with a side of chiles.

The most frustrating thing is, after working all day, driving home in traffic, shopping for the food, putting the food away, preparing the food and serving the food (when you’re just ready to dive head first into a big fat martini while wearing a straight jacket) the people (children) you do all this for don’t appreciate it. You’re hoping for a, “Hey, this looks great, mom!” or a “Thanks for doing all this, mom, I’m so hungry!” Instead there noses are turned up so far they resemble those pigs in space Muppets.

I think one night soon, I will surprise them and make their dreams come true. I’m gonna serve up some shit tacos with a side of black beans and shit and, for dessert, shit cream cones. Now, there’s a meal that won’t dissapoint!

Dammit, I wish I’d been nicer to my mother. 😉

Stay sane, my friends.



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March 11, 2013

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