Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Hurry Up and Slow Down

September 17, 2012 , , , , , ,

It it's not fuck yeah, it's NODoesn’t it feel like you’re always going at mock ten?

Seriously, from the time your feet hit the floor, you’re off and running with no down-shifting until about 9:30 at night. Between kids, work, pets, hooking the caffeine up to your main line. By the time you stop to take a breath, you’re brushing your teeth, crawling into bed and thinking, “Wait a minute, didn’t I just get up?”

Most days there doesn’t seem to be a spare minute. Do we create this? I’m starting to think so. We’re the ones who schedule our kids activities. We’re the ones who try and squeeze in one more meeting or phone call. We’re the ones who can’t say no. My business coach and mentor has a saying, “If it’s not fuck yeah, it’s no!” He suggests practicing saying NO in the mirror every day. He claims that the more you say it the easier it becomes. He believes women do not say no enough.

I think we women have a difficult time saying no. This stems from our origin family and our culture. Does saying no mean that we’re rude, mean, difficult, stingy, PMS-ing or just bitchy? NO! Yet why do we feel angst and guilt for uttering this tiny word? By saying no are we letting someone down? Are we holding our children back? Are we missing an opportunity? Are we being obstinate?

I say it’s time to stop worrying so much about what other people think and make decisions based on what we want to create rather than reacting to everyone else. That’s what we’re doing by always saying yes. We’re reacting. Now, we all know (well some of us know) that if you switch two letters around in reacting you spell creating. Voila! Isn’t that cool? (Thank you Cheryl Savala)

I believe this is what will set us free. Creating instead of reacting. By creating more and reacting less, we’ll build in more me time. More quality time with our kids. More thinking time at work or at 5:30am (ugh). More of what feels happy. Less of what feels like obligation or duty. By saying no more our yes becomes more valuable. Then we’re in creation mode. The sign pictured above is actually taped to my monitor at work. Every day I am reminded to slow down and take a breath. Close my eyes. Have a thought. Write a blog post. Text the hubby how much I appreciate him. Stop and give the kids a hug and tell them they are amazing.

This really hit home this morning, ok, literally at home. Mondays always seem to be slower going for me and my girls. Nobody wants to wake up. Therefore, we hit snooze too many times then jump out of bed and trample over each other trying to get out the door on time. This morning I decided to create a different environment and slow down. Call it an experiment of sorts. I climbed in bed with my youngest and talked in a silly voice and tickled her and allowed her to wake up slowly. It worked!  I took extra time with her, making sure her hair was braided instead of telling her to go ask sissy (bickering typically ensues here). I made sure she had a good breakfast. I then double-checked that lunches were in the pails and put them next to the front door (inevitably somebody forgets theirs in the fridge). Instead of barking at my oldest for anything, I reminded her gently that the trash and recycling were overflowing (her chore). I took a minute to compliment her hair and ask if she’s ready for her test today at school.

I slowed down and took the time that was needed to create a better morning. Now, mind you, I had to rush around to get myself ready, but that was ok. The household vibe was calm and positive and happy. Everyone made it to their appropriate destination on time and without any appearances from Sybil. What a difference slowing down can make. Granted, my missing chromosome may kick in the rest of the week and this may all go out the window, but today, on this Monday, I slowed down and created something better.

When was the last time you slowed down? What would that look like?

Stay sane, my friends.

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comments

Interesting, this thought has been on my plate lately…I rush around like a lunatic, so that I can get everything and have time to relax. Only that never really seems to happen. The rushing creates rushing, a heightened sense of hurry what else can I fit in?

We toasted ourselves HARD last weekend and Monday morning woke to a new resolution. We stopped soccer because the kids are really digging karate right now and I can’t be in 2 places at one time, sanely that is. We vowed no more extra long, extra extended workouts on Sundays…no matter what we’re training for! The kids were too tired for us and we were too tired to enjoy them. Axel begged me to play basketball with him last Sunday and I was just too tired from all of my RUSHING around that I thought was so important. I played, but I didn’t enjoy. It caused extreme mommy guilt. No more.

And hey, it’s going to be 10 degrees here soon so we will be forced to maintain our commitment to slowing down…because really, rushing around in 10 degrees is just plain cold!

Stay slow and sanity will follow…at least that’s what I’m hoping for xoxo

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pigtailsandsunshine

September 17, 2012

I have the same mommy guilt. Is it pathetic to feel too tired to read your kid books at bedtime? Or normal sometimes? I think it’s about balance, don’t you?! Knowing what we have to do that day or that weekend and planning our energy consumption or storage accordingly. It won’t always be perfect, but if we’re aware and proactive I think the results will be profound. And, less guilt, more fun. We’ve got to enjoy our time with these kids. It’s flying by and I want no regrets. Thanks for your wonderful comment, Wy! Big love.

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Allison DeFord

September 20, 2012

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