Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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“Awesome job breathing honey, here’s a trophy!”

September 11, 2012 , , , , , , ,

Awesome job breathing honey, here's a trophy!I was sitting at a restaurant yesterday with my creative partner, preparing for a meeting. The sound coming from the table next to us was, at first, annoying then quickly became unbearable. Two moms and two toddlers lunching after, what looked like, a hot yoga session. I ask you…is it possible to be sickeningly sweet to your kids all the time? For every thing? This kid giggled and I heard, “Good job, honey!” He farted and I heard, “Way to go pal, you’re so awesome!” Hee hee hee hee hee hee

Seriously, was she really this happy? I don’t recall ever being that happy while dining with either of my kids as toddlers. It was typically a draining task. There were crumbs, cheerios and bits of whatever EVERYWHERE. Over the constant chattering, my friend and I hardly got a word in edge-wise. It was usually exhausting! Sorry, I don’t have a rosy reflection here, but it’s the truth. It was challenging. This chic made it look like a little party. I expected rainbows and ponies to spring forth from her butt at any moment.

Am I missing the syrupy sweet gene? Am I missing a chromosome?

Part of my wishes I was a little more like this gal and the other part of me struggles with whether or not this is actually good for the child. Was she this calm and relaxed because she doesn’t work? Is that a ridiculous misguided assumption? Was I more stressed out and tired because I worked? Is my kid going to think that life is always happy and positive and that she’ll be handed a trophy simply for breathing? What happened to real life? You do what you’re told and that’s it. No reward for walking, talking, falling, eating, sleeping. You just did it. I guess I’m a fan of rewarding bigger things. Like, thank you for cleaning up your room without being asked and folding those twelve loads of laundry. Thank you for getting all A’s on your report card and substitute teaching this week. Great job! Let’s get an ice cream.

I’m being a little facetious here, but seriously. What has happened in our society? People afraid to let their kids cry. Moms afraid of offending their kids with harshness. I understand these particular children were about 2, but my question is: “Are there just some moms who are THAT happy and patient and sweet all the time and is that realistic?” It feels like June Cleaver in yoga pants on ecstasy.

Are you missing the chromosome, like me? Or are you wearing those yoga pants and riding that unicorn hard?

Enlighten me, please!
Stay sane, my friends.


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Okay….I had almost this exact conversation 3 days ago at the pool while listening to moms with toddlers. I am so glad my kids are out of that phase where such happy moms make me wonder why I’m stressed and feeling stretched too thin. I have several thoughts on this and I could build my own soap box to stand on top of to lecture about is…..but I won’t. I think overly rosey moms are down deep afraid of their kids and the possible temper tantrums lurking beneath, so they just keep things rosey! I bet if the toddler cried he would have gotten an ice cream sundae….pronto! Thank God You’re missing chromosome 🙂



September 11, 2012

She’s Mommy Dearest at home and yoga sweetness in public.


When the Kids Go To Bed

September 11, 2012

Probably! That’s too exhausting for moi. 😉


Allison DeFord

September 21, 2012

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