Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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What’s Mine is Now Theirs

September 10, 2012 , , , ,

What's Mine is TheirsWhen I was a kid, my sister and I loved to get into my moms jewelry box and try on her stuff. Grandma’s sparkly broaches were my fave. Then, of course, it was so totally cool to prance around the house in moms high heels. We felt so grown up. I could never understand it, though, when she’d get upset and yell, “These are my things. Stay out of my room!” I thought, “What’s the big deal, sheesh!”

Guess what? I get it now.

I totally understand because now my kids have slowly creatively taken over my stuff. These are MY things that have somehow become THEIR things:

-My shoes…the 5-year old favors the thigh high black suede boots…phoning the Mother Mary Convent School now!

-My mascara…the 7th grader’s eye lashes aren’t long enough apparently.

-My face powder…aka: pre-teen zit cover up

-My Proactive face products…for the war on pre-teen acne

-My car…now a sports taxi

-My yoga mats…make for great doll baby beds…who knew?!

-My sacred space…try downward facing dog with a little face looking up at you

-My iphone…gaming central, facebook central, Pandora blaster

-My nightstand…now a cup grave yard

-My flat iron…apparently, wavy is out, duh!

-My hairdresser…the oldest is over the little flower arrangements they do at the kiddy hairstyling place. Can’t blame her.

-My dental hygiene appointments…now it’s me + 2

NOTE TO SELF: Boundaries  (or a secret underground lair)

Stay sane, my friends.


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Wow! I don’t have daughters; however, I’ve lost my lap top and any jewelry that resembles pirate treasure. Secret underground lair sounds perfect.


When the Kids Go To Bed

September 10, 2012

Ok, this pirate thing seems to be a trend. 😉 That’s hilarious. Plans for the secret lair are underway. You’ll have an all-access pass.


Allison DeFord

September 11, 2012

Before I was a mom I would have been horrified to hear a mom say “NO! That’s MY water!”….now here I am spouting it out daily. Is it so much to just want your own glass of water at the end of the day, after a long workout trying to rehydrate. And yes, even having boys does not keep them from raiding my jewelry box to ask the little girl next door to marry him! Note to neighbor: All unfamiliar looking jewelry belongs to me. So does my water!



September 10, 2012

I know, right?! Our water is their water. Our sandwich is their sandwich. I’d be willing to give them my PMS, hot flashes and self-loathing any time they want it. Ok, so nobody deserves my self loathing. However, I don’t even have my own space to poop anymore. Sure as shit, ha ha, as soon as I sit down, here comes the dog and at least one of the girls. Really?!


Allison DeFord

September 11, 2012

I want to give them my cellulite!



September 12, 2012

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