Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Wake up!

July 31, 2012

We’re vacationing at a massive state park and we’re all rallying to find a missing little girl. She’s blonde and about 8 years old and she’s been missing since last night. I’m frantic! I don’t know her, but I’m going to help find her. Some of the people around me are familiar, some are complete strangers. My heart is racing. We take off in a caravan, driving so fast I can’t even make out the landscape around me.

We exit the vehicles and now I’m running. Faster and faster. The hallways feel dark and narrow. Wait, I see light. It’s a playground. Across the way I spot a building. Looks like a gym. I duck into the first door that’s unlocked. continuously glancing back. Is she there? That blonde girl? There are so many people in this locker room. None of them seem to notice me. I’m sweating feverishly! I’m so afraid! I spot several bathrooms with doors and I dash into, not the first or second, but the third. This one looks good. I lock the door. Gasping for air. I can’t catch my breath. I feel as though I’ve escaped her. She’s trying to kill me, you know. This blonde girl I don’t know. And then, she pounds on the door. I’ve been found out! She knows I’m in here. Unarmed! Helpless! Afraid! She bursts through the door and I lunge at her with all my might…

Wake up!

Holy crap! I just kicked the shit out of my husband and it was only a dream. I’m out of breath. I feel afraid. Running from someone I don’t know. Somehow, though, each time I escape. What does this all mean? What do our dreams tell us? Like the time I was pregnant and dreamed that I walked in to our bathroom and our 75-year old neighbors were having sex in the tub, standing up with the shower curtain open. Seriously, I’m now blind in one eye. Rinse eyes with acid, repeat.

I’ve always dreamed in living technicolor (that word just dated me, didn’t it?!). Like a 3D movie. So real. What am I running from? What am I so afraid of? Someone? Something? Success? Failure? Maybe I need a dream interpreter/counselor/witch doctor person to help me understand and move on. Move forward away from whatever it is that I’m running from.

Fortunately, it’s never my kids or my husband. Yikes, that wouldn’t be good. It’s bigger. I do take solace in the fact that I always escape. Sometimes naked in the middle of a strange city, but I’m alive and unscathed. “Dammit, I knew I should have shaved my legs!”

What do you dream about? What do your dreams say about your subconscious? Do you secretly desire fame? Riches? Travel? Safety? A life as a stripper? To have a third boob? (wait, no one wants that)

What’s your dream? What does it mean? Tell me I’m not the only crazy in the room.

Stay sane, my friends.


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I’m been having dreams of running from the Russian mob lately… I’m going to blame Ryan Gosling and Drive. My dreams are always crazy and vivid. I just really hate it when I get bit by snakes…that’s a frequent one.


When the Kids Go To Bed

July 31, 2012

Running from the Russian mob….Svetlana, that is very specific. What do you think is the significance? Oh, you mentioned “Drive”. ha ha I’ve never been bit by a snake, but I’d have to agree that would not be enjoyable. Guess I’ll stick with running from people who are trying to kill me. šŸ˜‰


Allison DeFord

August 1, 2012

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