Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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Vacations Are Like Head Cheese…Are We There Yet?

April 17, 2012 , , , , , , ,

Are We There Yet?

Head cheese is an oxymoron.

Head cheese is actually not a cheese but a terrine or meat jelly made with flesh from the head of a calf or pig (sometimes a sheep or cow), and often set in aspic. Which parts of the head are used can vary, but the brain, eyes, and ears are usually removed. The tongue, and sometimes even the feet and heart, may be included. So head cheese is NOT REALLY CHEESE!

Just like vacations with kids AREN’T REALLY VACATIONS. Well, at least not the relaxing re-charging kind I yearn for.

After returning recently from a trip to Yosemite with the kids and another family (with kids) my mother-in-law emailed to ask if we were recharged and relaxed from our trip. I read the email and laughed out loud. It was nice to get away, please don’t get me wrong. I enjoy spending time with my sweet children and we created some lasting memories on the trip. The truth is, however, I am neither now relaxed or charged up much more than before we departed.

I guess it’s just a fact of life. Vacations with kids are not much of a departure from the daily routine.

You still have to pack all their crap as well as your own. Argue about what to take (“no honey, flip flops and tank tops are not appropriate for hiking in the mountains when there’s a chance of snowfall!”) Endure a plane ride or road trip in which I learned to use my translator app to answer them in other languages:

“No, we are not there yet.”

“No, no lo hemos logrado todavía.”

“Non, nous n’en sommes pas encore là.”

“Hindi, hindi kami doon pa.”

“Nee, zover zijn we nog niet.”

Force urination upon another. Wipe butts other than my own. Cook, Clean up. Give baths. Argue. Break up mini MMA matches. Argue. Engage in some form of bedtime wrangling. Argue. Wake up earlier than I please. Hike with someone on my back or attached to my front because they are too tired to walk. (maybe I’d like to be carried for once)  Spend large sums of money on meaningless souvenir chachkies which could otherwise be spent on cocktails (duh), pick up wet towels, random clothes, socks and crap they forgot to put away (mind you, these are children who’ve been taught to clean up and mind…NOTE TO SELF: I’ve screwed up somewhere)….And lest I forget to mention, it’s really challenging to have sex with your mate when there’s a child in the room sleeping in the bed next to you.

I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a good trip. My kids are darn good travelers and we did have fun together. I guess I’m just in need of a different kind of -ation…


How about you? Head cheese, anyone?!

Stay sane, my friends.


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