Confessions of a Professional Mom

Confessions of a Professional Mom

Professional mom seeking clarity, balance and a well deserved glass of wine.

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What’s in YOUR Purse?

October 10, 2011 , , ,

When I was a kid we used to tease my mom because her purse contained everything but the kitchen sink. Entire boxes of Kleenex. Gum. Tweezers. Extra pantyhose. Coupons. Paper to write on during church. Old gum we’d deposited back into the wrapper and handed her in passing. Sucker sticks. Lipstick (can’t leave home without it). Some eye shadow (that we’d play in every time she wasn’t looking). And the gateway to grocery shopping…the checkbook. (Funny, we used to think if you have checks left, you must have money to buy us that stupid cheesy toy at Payless)

I’m here to confess…the contents of my purse now looks like that of my mothers. This is not funny, people! I did not plan for this to happen. It snuck up on me like a bad joke. I don’t like all that crap in my purse. It’s getting too heavy. It’s gross. It’s not a trash can for Gods sake. 

I’ve even been known to carry around extra underwear (size 4T thank you very much). For just in case. But still. Underwear in my purse! Snacks. Snack crumbs. Empty lip gloss containers (thanks kids). Paperwork. Homework. Rubberbands. BandAids. Kleenex (I curse you, mother). Large quantities of Advil. Kids cold pills. Kids Tylenol. Kids Claritin. (see the Pharmacy theme yet?) Earrings that should have been taken out before the softball game. Jackets. Sweaters. Tampons whose paper wrapper has bio-degradably broken down and disappeared (maybe it’s still usable…nah!). Mints (can’t leave home without them). Crayons from various restaurants. Protein bar. 5th of Jack. Seriously, just kidding.

Is this one of those things that I will miss when the kids are grown? Am I just poorly managing my purse? I need guidance. Support. Finger-pointing.

It’s time for some new purse rules. I’m laying down the law. Get yer shit out of my purse or I’ll put you back where you came from!

What’s in YOUR purse?

Stay sane, my friends.


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It IS amazing what accumulates in that purse! This was a lot of fun, Allison. It’s inspired me to take a few minutes today and clean out mine.



October 11, 2011

Sounds like you need to separate yours from the kids for sure! What about carrying a small purse inside a larger tote? That way you could have all the kids “necessary bits” with out getting snack crumbs in checkbook? This way you can carry the crayons and keep your lip gloss off limits?

I was thinking something along the lines of this:



September 27, 2012

Great suggestion and cute bags! Thank you! Funny, they have their own purses, what seems like hundreds of them. Mine is, apparently, the fave.


Allison DeFord

September 28, 2012

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